Dr. Strangevox or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Demise of the Big XII
Sitting down to a can of Ska True Blonde Ale I feel strange. A lot feels strange these days. A country in a financial clustercuss, an unseasonably cool September day in the Kansas City Metro, my return to the classroom… and of course the constant soap opera of college football and the Big 9. Or was it twelve teams. Wait. Ten?
A lot of this madness started for me in 1996. On a fall day the 21st ranked Kansas State Wildcats, led by a young 57 year old Bill Snyder, invited new conference member Texas Tech into the stadium I’d come to love. As a fan of the “classic” Big 8, I wanted no part of these Yosemite Sam Southwestern Conference teams. It was strange to think of a conference member from the state of Texas. I pictured most of the SWC’s fanbase looked like the Rich Texan character from the Simpsons. He’d come rootin’ and tootin’ into town on his horse, fire a few pistol rounds into the air and head back to his large ranch house adorned with cowhide television sets and longhorn lamps and fall asleep while whittlin’ on the front porch. Jesus I was a judgy prick.
I was a far more innocent sports fan in general in those days. Those 220 pound kids from Western Kansas that Billy and his saint-like coaching staff were turning into 280 pound behemoths was just a result of a “badass weight program” and a lot of “coaching them up”. I was, as I still am, quite satisfied with a run at a conference title every few years and getting into the stands and having a good old drunk time with my college cohorts. Listening to a college football program today I chuckle at the “sorry state” of Georgia football only winning 11 games a couple years ago.
I wish I had known then that growing conferences and cheating were about to become cutting edge in our beloved college football. As I sip on my beer we watch the demise of the Big 12 and are facing the impending mega-conferences, a concept that destroys regionalism in the Midwest. Several scenarios are possible, including absolute chaos also known as having to drive to Storrs, Connecticut for road games.
If not moving east there is the possibility of joining the Mountain West, which admittedly I would personally enjoy based on some of the road trips. However, how does Kansas State even compete in this scenario? Recruiting under the Snyder skeleton is pitiful as is. What happens when trips to the lone star state can’t frequently be promised?
Look, I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that it’s going to be a while, if ever, that I’ll see Kansas State Football contend for a conference title in the current conference landscape. If 57 year old Bill Snyder would see what this program is doing now I can’t imagine he’d be happy. I was against his rehire from the beginning. His 04 to 05 campaigns showed signs of a once-great coach being passed by the game he was years ahead of a brief decade before.
But let’s not kid ourselves, folks. We are witnessing an impressive era. An era where those things that seem more unsavory from the perspective of a fan like a K-Stater has likely never been seen. Rampant rules violations. The destruction of conferences. The even more apparent rise of the almighty dollar. The weak yet crooked arm of the NCAA handing out punishments more resembling going to your room without dinner for the economically powerful for offenses such as free houses, cars, tattoos, sex and a myriad of other enjoyable ventures.
In a recent interview with a local sports talk radio station, the author of the Miami story was asked how widespread the violations were at other universities. He responded something to the effect of “if I spend enough time at your school I will assuredly find violations”. The more people close to college athletics who aren’t kidding themselves you talk to, the more will tell you every school breaks violations. It’s all a matter of degree now.
If you’re K-State you’re in quite a conundrum. Obviously some rules get broken regardless of your intent or awareness. So do you ramp it up in order to compete with the big boys knowing you’re a nothing on the overall landscape of college football and risk serious penalties?
The pockets of coaches, athletic directors and media executives are the clear winners in the modern college football machine. The losers are the players and the fans. Or at least the fans outside the of the iron giant circle of college football elites.
The only bit of solace I can offer you in times so wickedly dynamic is to appreciate every Big 12 game you get to witness, listen to or attend from here on out. Enjoy hating Bob Davis butcher-homer his way through a KU broadcast. Enjoy every missed assignment a Chris Cosh defense commits. Enjoy the whimsy of a disastrous Gary Pinkel game plan.
The path from here is uncertain and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Enjoy every win our Cats get. Even if it’s over Eastern Kentucky.
Dr. Vox Humana
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